Memory Games
by Darling Pretty
Summary: When an amnesiac redhead, dyed black for reasons unknown, is admitted to the hospital after a car crash, she quickly forms a bond with the Dr. taking care of her. As she struggles to remember, it becomes clear that her past is darker than imagined. ADDEX
1. Bad Dye Jobs and Other Things Lost

**so this is just something i came up with out of the blue. i think it has potential, although quite frankly, i don't know why i'm starting a whole other story when i've already got writers' block on other such works of fiction. but i do know where this would go, so let me know if i should continue or not.**

**disclaimer: not mine. quit rubbing it in.**She wakes up with a start. Looking around, she recognizes none of her surroundings. She licks her lips in preparation to speak. "Where…?" is what she can get out. Movement across the room alerts her to the man in scrubs.

* * *

"You're awake," he states, walking to her bed.

"Who are you?" she asks as the talking gets easier.

"I'm Dr. Karev. You're at Seattle Grace Hospital. You were in a car crash. You hit your head Do you remember anything?" She tries to remember something, anything, but can't. She shakes her head. He looks concerned. "Can you tell me your name?"

She struggles to remember and comes up with absolutely nothing. "No. Can you?"

He hesitates a moment before answering. "No. You didn't have any ID on you. No cell phone, nothing. But don't worry, we take care of this sort of thing all the time. Someone'll come and get you." She nods, toying with a lock of fake looking black hair. "Look, I have to go. I'll be back later, okay?" She nods again. Once he's out of the room, she allows herself to cry for everything she's lost, including her memory.

0ooo0

"Dr. Karev," she greets him as he walks into the room two weeks later. He tosses her a chocolate pudding.

"I brought you pudding," he says. Then he stops. "Something's different about you," he tells her. She waits patiently for him to realize it. "Your hair," he finally says.

"I discovered, through an incredibly humiliating look in the mirror and the discovery of roots, that I had a particularly bad dye job. I enlisted a nurse to help me wash it out. I had dyed my eyebrows and everything. Don't know why, but I did. Apparently I'm a natural redhead."

"I like the red," he replies. "It looks better."

"That's probably because of my crappy home job of a dye," she retorts. "I looked hot brunette and you know it."

"Never said you didn't. I just like the red better," he defends himself.

"Me too," she agrees as she opens the pudding.

"Hey, eat your lunch first," he orders. She shoots him a look.

"Who are you? My mother? Besides, the food here sucks. No offense."

"None taken," he says, taking a bite out of his sandwich and looking at her chart. "Keep healing like this and we're not going to have any reason to keep you here," he tells her.

"Then I've got to stop, because I do so love our lunches," she says with a wry smile. "So I've decided something," she announces.

"What? That you're going to eat dessert first?"

"No," she says with an eye roll. "I've decided I'm done being a Jane Doe. I want to choose a temporary name, at least until my knight in shining armor shows up." He doesn't say anything. "I want your help," she continues.

"Why?"

"Because you're the only one who would call me it, since you're the only one who talks to me." He waits a minute before agreeing. "Any suggestions?" she asks.

"Uh… I don't know… Joan?" She sticks her tongue out and shakes her head. "Darcy?"

"You suck at this," she laughs.

"Sophia?" he suggests.

_Curly brown hair. Long limbs, entangled with others, clearly male. Backstabbing bitch._

She shakes her head to clear it. "Definitely not Sophia," she says vehemently.

He studies her face. "Did you remember something?" he asks excitedly.

"I don't know, maybe. Just a flash, nothing important. It was weird."

"That's good!" he exclaims. "Can you remember anything else? Try."

Although she strains as hard as she can, she can't remember anything else. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"That's okay," he says. After a few moments of silence he breaks it. "What about Kate?"

"Kate," she tries it out. "I like it," she agrees. "Maybe you don't suck so badly at this," she concedes, flashing him a smile that he returns.

"I have to go," he says. "Bye Kate."

"Bye Dr. Karev."

He stops at the door and turns around. "My first name's Alex," he says.

"Bye Alex."

"Bye Kate."

**think you might enjoy this? tell me so in a review! otherwise i'll just take it off and pretend like none of this ever happened.**

**-Juli-**


	2. Rings and Other Signs of Commitment

**Happy 4th to those of you in the US (which i'm assuming is most of you, but hey, what do i know?). Here's the next chapter, since most of you seem determined to remember this story, meaning that i'm not going to try and forget it. I can't promise you an update nearly this speedy, since, considering the fact that it's 2 in the morning, i have to spend all of today celebrating my country's independence and saturday's shot because of familial obligations. But i'll hopefully have something up soon!**

**Just a little warning: these chapters move kind of fast, as will this entire story. the only way i finish a story in a relatively quick fashion is if i get it written within the first couple days of writing the first chapter. besides, you have to remember, i'm trying to squeeze this in within the time it would take addison/kate's people to find her, and considering the rate that information travels at these days, that's not that long. and now after possibly the longest a/n ever, i give you the next chapter of Memory Games! (this is the part where you applaud)**

Kate looks up hopefully when Alex enters the room nowhere near lunch time. He shakes his head slightly. "Nothing yet," he says.

"Maybe they're not looking," she replies dejectedly. "Maybe I was such a horrible person that I alienated anyone who would look for me."

"You weren't," he contradicts her.

"How would you know that?" she snaps. "You don't even know my real name."

"I just do, okay? You don't act like someone horrible, and I'm a pretty good judge of character."

"Modest too," she counters, a slight smile slipping on to her face. Then she slips back into her melancholy mood.

He notices the defeat in her posture. "Stuff like this takes time," he says.

"I know," she says. "But it's been over two weeks. Someone should have recognized me by now. Maybe there's just no one to recognize me. And I can't even remember my own name. God, this sucks."

"You never know," he replies. "It could just be that it's taking them awhile to get things together so they can come get you."

She shoots him a disbelieving look. "Yeah, right."

He sits down in the chair by her bed and she turns to face him. "You know what," he says. "You can just stay in your depression, but I'm going to sit here and wait until you snap out of it. You're no fun depressed."

She laughs. "Sorry about that," she says. Then she becomes serious. "It's just hard."

"Yeah, I bet it is," he replies quietly.

"Thanks for sticking around. I don't think I'd be able to do this without you," she declares.

"That's what I'm here for." He looks at his watch. "I've got to go, but I'll come back later okay?" She nods. "Bye Kate."

0ooo0

He keeps his word and comes back later, resuming his place in the chair beside her bed. "Feeling better?" he asks.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine," he replies.

"It's just frustrating, you know?" she says. "I don't know anything about myself. I don't know if I have kids, or if I'm married, or anything."

_Two gorgeous rings on the left ring finger that she recognizes as her own. Those rings ripped off and flung as hard as she can at a door. She relents after a moment, unable to see her rings on the floor, and picks them up, stuffing them into a bag. She carries the bag out to the car, tossing it in roughly._

"Alex?" she asks suddenly. "In my things, did you find any rings?"

He frowns. "No. Why?"

"I think I was married. Sort of."

"Sort of? What's sort of mean?"

"I remember throwing my rings and then picking them up and stuffing them into the bag that I was brought in with."

"There wasn't anything like that in your bag," he says.

"Then what happened to my rings?"

0ooo0

"I checked again, Kate, there was nothing in there," Alex says for the third time in the past half hour.

"I remember putting them in there!" she repeats for the fourth time.

"Kate," he says, grabbing her wrists gently and looking her in the eye. "There wasn't anything in there. That doesn't mean that you didn't remember right, it just means something happened after the memory. Maybe they just got lost in the crash. There's a lot of things that could have happened."

She meets his eyes, tears glistening in her own. As their eyes meet she suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the feel of his skin on her wrists and the fact they're sharing air. Her mouth opens to say something, but even she doesn't know what it is. She searches in his eyes for something, although what she's looking for is a mystery. Then her eyes are drawn to his lips and she can't decide where to look, lips or eyes. She leans forward slowly, touching his lips to hers. The electric shock that runs through her body shocks her into pulling back. She was not in any way prepared to react that strongly to the touch of his lips. "I…" she stutters. "I… oh… just forget that. I know the whole doctor/patient thing. And the rules, and I'm married and… and… I just, uh, I'm sorry."

He looks like he's trying not to laugh. He waits for her to be finished stumbling over her apology then presses his lips to hers again. "Screw the rules," he mumbles just before their lips touch.

0ooo0

Throughout that entire sleepless night, she wrestles with the entire situation. She's married to a husband that she can't even remember, and she's got an amazing doctor who apparently has feelings for her. And who she has feelings for. But she's married. Sighing, she gets up to use the bathroom. Peeking out of the door on her way, she sees a woman with a baby. A wave of understanding hits her. She calls for the nearest nurse and begs her to page Alex. He comes running in the next couple minutes. "What? What is it?"

Her eyes shine brightly as she exclaims, "Alex, I remember what I do! I remember!"

**it's a little bit of a sudden ending, i know, but i kind of felt it needed to end there. besides, i haven't decided whether or not to give addison a new profession, which means i'm leaving it up to you. so...**

**should addison remain the amazing surgeon she is on the show or should she get an entirely different profession (although with this option, you don't get to choose the profession, because i already know what it is)? review and answer!**

**i like my reviews sunny side up with a side of sausage!**

**-Juli-**


	3. Normalcy and Other Things Regained

**so this chapter's a little different from the rest. most of it's told from alex's POV and there's two flashbacks. although why i decided that the introduction of a new character had to be in flashback, i don't really know. to be honest, i'm rather nervous about this chapter, because it's a little different from what i normally do. plus there's a twist that i'm eager to hear responses to. so PLEASE, if you have any sort of strong reaction, be it anger, surprise, sadness, happiness, even hatred, send me a review, just so i know i'm doing my job. although, i'm not really big on the hatred one, so maybe keep it to yourself if you absolutely hate it. but constructive criticism is always appreciated.**

**yep, still not mine.**

_**Previously on Memory Games…**_

"_**Alex, I remember what I do! I remember!"**_

The first thing that Alex Karev had noticed about Jane Doe when she was lying on the gurney was her bone structure. It sounds strange, but the first thing he really noticed about her was the high cheekbones, the strong nose, and the delicate skin, porcelain-like. His first thought was _God, she must be beautiful when she's not covered in blood. _And then he negated that thought, thinking that the woman even managed to pull off the covered in blood look.

When she woke up, he couldn't help but notice that she was even more beautiful awake. The blue eyes that so obviously held intelligence behind them, along with some mystery emotion pulled from the deepest recesses of her brain, were captivating. As they began to talk, it became clear that the intelligence went far beyond what was housed in her eyes. Not only was she smart, she was witty and charming too. All in all, she would have made a great con artist. And you never knew, maybe she was. He laughed at the idea, the woman was far too honest to do well in a profession that was all about tricking people. He had mentioned the idea during their favorite game, known as Try to Make Kate Remember Something About Her Past, and she had flipped out.

Now Kate has remembered her professional success as a surgeon, and he can't decide whether he likes this new woman as much. While he realizes that this new woman has a lot that she can teach him, she's apparently an incredible neonatal surgeon, she struggles far harder to remember something, anything, about her past, and gets frustrated when the memories don't come. The look on her face when she does remember something almost makes it worth, but those moments are few and far between. He's almost happy when she attempts to remember something and fails, not because he enjoys seeing her miserable, but he's a man and he's selfish. He wants her to stay with him, and every time she remembers something, she is a little further from him and a little closer to her past. For all he knows, she was on her way home to her perfect life with an adoring husband, two kids, and a golden retriever, when that car struck hers. And when she goes home to that perfect life, there won't be a place for him. And he wants to stall that for as long as possible.

They haven't mentioned the kiss. Actually, he supposes, that should technically be plural. Kiss_es_. With an e and an s. They haven't mentioned the kisses. By some unspoken agreement, they have decided to skirt the issue. And that suits him just fine. He's not one to do anything like that often, and even if he was, he wouldn't want to make anything worse for her. She's married, for God's sake. She doesn't need an intemperate doctor making everything difficult for her.

They've mastered the art of pretending nothing ever happened in the following forty-eight hours. By the time it's been two days, they're back to normal. But that tentative normalcy of forty-eight hours is shattered within the following twenty four.

_He hadn't wanted to get up that morning. Something about the day made him want to call in sick and then roll over and go back to sleep. The only thing that got him up was the fact that Kate would worry if he didn't show up as promised. So he dragged himself out of bed and got ready._

_The day went as usual for the first couple hours. He had done rounds with his interns, he had grabbed the cup of coffee that he hadn't been able to grab earlier due to his reluctance in the waking up department, and then he went to visit Kate. That was when his new found normal flew straight out of the window._

"_Excuse me?" a man asks. "Can I get some help here?"_

_Alex turns to face the man, and immediately dislikes him. He can't understand what makes him dislike this particular man so much, but he knows that he doesn't like him. Maybe something to do with the condescending tone or the flash in his eyes, one that lets Alex know that this man knows he's something good, put on the earth to be God's gift to women. But he swallows his dislike, and says, "Sure, what can I help you with?"_

"_I'm looking for my wife's room and I can't seem to find it."_

"_Do you have the number?" When the man shakes his head no, Alex asks, "What's her name?" _

"_Addison Montgomery."_

"_Name doesn't ring a bell," Alex replies._

"_Here," the man replies, holding out a picture. "This is her."_

_Alex looks down and is horrified to see a picture of Kate. Or Addison, he supposes. "Holy crap," he mumbles before he can catch himself._

"_What?" the man asks._

_Alex looks at the husband of the woman he kissed only a couple of days ago. "Nothing. Just that she's my patient, and I was worried that no one was going to claim her."_

"_Yeah, and I feel horrible about it, but I didn't even know that she'd been found until last weekend. We live in New York, and my friend out here emailed me when she saw the picture of Addison. And then things went to hell at work and I just couldn't get away. This is the soonest I could come get her."_

_Alex doesn't say any of the things that he wants to, something along the lines of a lecture on how this man's wife is quite possibly the greatest catch on the earth, and she should take priority over all else. Instead, he just nods and starts to lead the way to Kate/Addison's room._

0ooo0

Kate sits quietly, reading a book, waiting for Alex and thanking God that, other than the loss of memory, there was no real damage to her head and she was cleared to read soon after her surgery. She looks up when she hears the door open. She smiles at Alex as he walks in, but starts to frown when she sees a man that she doesn't recognize enter after him. When the man sees her, he runs to her bedside, kissing her full on the mouth. She pulls back, stunned. For a minute all she can think about is how Alex's lips are no longer the last one's to touch hers. The skin of her lips begins to crawl. They feel contaminated, like she should go to the bathroom and brush her teeth and scrub at her lips until she reaches through the imprints this stranger's lips have left on hers to the imprint of Alex's. "Oh, Addie," the man sighs, cupping her face in his hands. She pulls away from him. "I've missed you so much."

She studies the man for a minute, trying to figure out who he is, until what he's just said sinks in. Then she asks, "Who's Addie?"

The man laughs. "That's you. Your name is Addison Forbes Montgomery. You refused to take my name when we got married. I'm your husband."

_A thirteen year old, she floats, perfectly content, staring at the blue of the sky, almost painful in its brightness. "Addison! Dinner time! Get your lazy butt out of that pool and come eat!"_

"_Coming Mom!" she calls back, making no move to leave the pool._

"Addison," she repeats after the man claiming to be her husband, trying out her own name. He smiles at her, a crooked smile that all of a sudden she can remember perfectly. He's always smiled at her like that when he thinks she's being a little weird. If she can remember that detail, she can remember his name. She fights through the fog that surrounds her past harder that she ever has before. Finally she comes up with a name. "George?" she whispers.

**bet ya didn't see that one coming.**

**-Juli-**


	4. Necklaces and Other Sweet Things

**(still not mine)**

**i only have one word for you: gotcha!**

**_Previously on Memory Games..._**

**_"George?" she whispers._**

He cracks up. "No," he chuckles once he stops laughing so hard. "Mark."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's okay, sweetie," he replies. She wonders if she likes being called sweetie. Maybe she did, but she really doesn't now. No, she didn't. She remembers that. She remembers making a face every time that he would call her that. She's never been one for pet names; they're just an easy way to get out of trying to remember someone's real name. She finds it funny that she can remember that but not her own wedding day. Mark turns to Alex, "When can I take her home?" he asks.

"I'd like to keep her one more night, just to be safe," Alex says. Grudgingly, Addison thinks. "So tomorrow."

"Okay," Mark agrees. "I'll get everything set up so we can leave." He kisses her one more time and leaves.

"That's my husband," Addison says. It's almost a question.

"That's your husband," Alex repeats.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to go," she admits quietly.

He looks at her face, the face he's grown used to seeing every day. "I don't want you to," he says honestly, matching her tone. "But," he continues. "He's your husband, you owe it to him."

She briefly considers throwing a tantrum or begging him to let her stay. She doesn't want to go with that stranger of a husband. She doesn't want to be married at all. Marriage is built on knowledge of each other and she knows absolutely nothing about her husband. That's not marriage, that's… she doesn't know what to call it, but she's sure it's not marriage. One look at Alex's face, however, lets her know that neither screaming nor begging is going to help her. He's got on what she calls his stubborn face, and she knows that it means that he won't budge an inch. "I'll miss you," she whispers so quietly he almost doesn't catch it.

"Call me. When you're in New York, I mean."

"New York?"

"Yeah, where you and Mark live." Suddenly it dawns on her that aside from her own name, Mark told her nothing about anything. But he had told Alex that they lived in New York. She has to believe him, obviously, but did she really have to learn through Alex?

"Oh." Alex turns to leave the room. "Alex, please don't go," she begs. He turns back, and seems to be contemplating leaving anyway. But she manages to make eye contact and he moves closer to her bed. That eye contact convinces Addison of something. There is no way in hell that she's going to allow herself to be taken away from this man with another man's kiss on her lips. It's just plain not going to happen. She gets up, and he watches her, trying to decide whether or not to scold her and make her get back in bed. Silently, she approaches him, her breathing becoming shallow. By the time her lips touch his, she's barely getting any oxygen. The kiss starts out slow and timid, but as she feels him respond, it starts to heat up. The moment his tongue slips into her mouth, she knows something else. She knows there's no way that she's going to be able to stop, not today.

0ooo0

They're avoiding each other. Well, he's avoiding her. And it hurts. She's leaving in an hour or so and he hasn't been in to say goodbye.

They had spent hours yesterday talking. He had left her room only when an emergency page had called him away. And then he came back and they would talk some more. Every once in awhile he'd reach out and touch her face, but that was it. They had only had sex that one time. But she doesn't like to call it that. Calling it sex feels too impersonal, as does sleeping together or any other things she can think of to call it other than making love. And not only does making love sound like a cheesy soap opera, she is nowhere near sure that was what it was. Is she in love with Alex? She doesn't think so, not really. Could she fall in love with Alex, given the chance? She thinks so, maybe. Is she being given that chance? No. Because now, not only is he avoiding her, he decided that she owed it to Mark to try to make this one sided marriage work. Actually, she agrees, but if she were any less honorable, she would ditch her husband. Now her husband's coming to pick her up and take her back to her rightful place in the world. She tries not to think about how badly that sucks.

Ten minutes until Mark is supposed to come get her, she hears the door of her room open. She looks up to find Alex standing there, looking just as amazing as ever. When he doesn't say anything to discourage her, she all but flies into his arms. With his arms forming a wall around her, she feels safe from the entire world. When she slowly detaches herself from him, he shows her a long box. She tears into it eagerly, opening it to find a silver chain with a dolphin charm. Her grin lights up her entire face. One of the first things she had remembered was her love of water, cultivated at her family's summer home in Maine. While she had rarely ever seen any dolphins, they always seemed to elude her, it was always her hope and she always kept an eye out for them. And he had remembered all of this. "You," she tells him, "are making it really hard to leave you. And that is not fair. But thank you. I love it." She lifts up her hair so that he can fasten it around her neck. With his breath warm on the back of her neck, she pretends that it's him that she's going home with, not some mysterious stranger. "I thought that you were avoiding me," she says.

"I was out looking for this," he replies, playing with the charm.

She glances down at the dolphin hanging from her neck. Then she looks at her watch. Mark should be here any moment. He's always early or, at the latest, punctual, if she remembers correctly. She kisses Alex quickly, reveling in the touch of his lips. "I'll never forget you," she whispers against his lips. She closes her eyes and tries to memorize the moment, the feel of his touch, just everything. Then she pulls away from him, regretting every inch of skin that is taken from his. "Never," she repeats.

The door swings open and they spring the rest of the way apart. Mark is standing there, holding a bouquet that is obviously for her. "Ready to go, sweetie?" he asks. She nods. He hands her the bouquet and picks up her one bag. With one last glance at Alex, she follows him out the door.

**so i know that the story kind of follows that evil storyline with ava/rebecca/whatever her face is, but i promise it's different. this part's just similar-ish. and hey, at least i didn't use the "i want you to give me a reason to stay" thing. BLECH.**

**-Juli-**


	5. Why George? and Other Questions Raised

**okay, so i'm sorry that this took longer than everything else. but i discovered something. i know that most people say that reviews make them write faster, but i just found that to be the truth. it's much easier to write something when you know that lots of people are enjoying it! and i'm not complaining about the 5ish reviews i did get, because i truly do love those who reviewed. it was just less than i was used to for this story. i got comfortable. speaking of the story, how about i let you read that?**

**it's STILL not mine. i don't even truly own the freaking concept.**

**by the way, this is my least favorite chapter to date, in case you were wondering.**

Silence. Just silence. That's all that Addison's aware of during the car ride to the airport. Somehow Mark had managed to swing two tickets to New York that left only a couple of hours to get to the airport, and what with airport security and having to be there an hour in advance, they're just going straight there. She can't come up with anything to say, and boy, does she feel stupid because of it. She can't help but think that she wouldn't be having this feeling if Alex was the man she was sitting next to. But it's not Alex next to her, it's Mark. Her Mark apparently. The one she remembers very little about. She remembers that he has an obsession with being punctual. And that she's married to him, which means that there has to be something about him that she likes. She just has yet to find that thing. As they pull up to the airport she finally comes up with something to say. "So why'd I think your name is George?" she asks as they get out of the car.

He looks up from his palm pilot. "George is your best friend from college Callie's husband," he offers.

"_So when are you going to come visit me in Seattle?" Callie whines._

"_Soon," Addison laughs. "I promise."_

"They live in Seattle!" she exclaims, excited that she remembered something almost entirely on her own.

"Right!" he says, almost as excited as she is. He picks her up and swings her around. "You're remembering!" When he sets her down, he goes to kiss her, but she turns her head so that his kiss lands on her cheek. And then she feels bad. She didn't leave Alex to not give this marriage thing a try. So she grabs his hand as they walk into the terminal. He squeezes her hand then extracts his from hers, opting to put his arm around her waist instead. She allows him to, and even snuggles in closer. His reaction to her memory managed to convince her that there is something in this guy that she could potentially love. And just like she promised Alex, she's going to give it a try.

0ooo0

Her favorite song is "I Think It's Going to Rain Today" by Randy Newman. Her favorite ice cream is Ghirardelli's chocolate, and because that's so difficult to find, mostly just in San Francisco, she rarely eats it. Her favorite movie is _Gigi_. She watches it at least once a month, and when she's watching it, he knows not to bug her until the movie is over, otherwise she'll refuse to have sex with him later.

They don't have any children. Neither of them fell capable of raising children with their jobs. He's a plastic surgeon, one of the top in the city, even the country. He runs his own practice. She's a neonatal surgeon and OB/GYN, nationally ranked as well. They met in med school and she hated him on first sight. He tried to hit on her room mate, Callie, who was having none of it and desperately signaling Addison to come rescue her, so she pretended to trip and spilt her drink all over him. Then she felt so bad about it, she offered to pay for the dry cleaning. He proposed to her at their favorite restaurant, where they had had their first date. And she had said no. But he persisted and she finally said yes, although it was probably more to get him off her back than anything else. They've been married for five years now.

He tells her all of this on the plane ride back to New York. He's actually quite the storyteller and he knows just how to make her laugh. He rarely stops touching her throughout the entire ride, and his eyes never stray. All in all, he seems to be the model husband. And she's glad that she seems to be going back to a fairytale life after only a short interlude, one that she may have made a few mistakes during, but which can easily be forgotten. There is one question in her mind though. If she has such a perfect marriage, what was she doing in Seattle without any phone or any identification while her husband was still in New York?

0ooo0

She refuses to take off the necklace. Well, not so much she refuses; she just can't bring herself to do it. If she could, she would. Maybe. It's hard to tell, since she can't bring herself to do it in the first place.

It surprises her that Mark doesn't even notice the necklace. Then again, according to him, she has so much jewelry that he doesn't think he's seen her wear the same thing twice. But even when she wears the necklace for a week straight, he doesn't notice. However, he's a guy and she lets it slide.

She's a little more surprised that he doesn't pressure her to have sex. After all, she is his wife. She's glad he doesn't, but it surprises her. She has to wonder why. She gets her answer to her question in the form of an overheard phone conversation.

After a couple of weeks of pretty much marital bliss, she's walking to the kitchen, meaning she has to pass his study. She's going to stop in and say hi since she hasn't really seen him all day, but his voice stops her. "No," he says. "No. Stop it. _No_. I've been given a second chance with my wife, and I'm not screwing it up. Goodbye." She hears him slam the phone down and get up from his chair, so she hurries to the kitchen. She grabs a mug and starts pouring herself a cup of coffee to look busy. He comes in and she can tell that he's trying not to let her know that he's angry. She can tell from the way he's clenching and unclenching his fists.

_She's rushing down the hallway when a nurse stops her. "What'd he do this time?" Addison asks, trying to keep the note of annoyance out of her voice._

"_Punched a wall."_

She shakes her head. What a weird thing to remember. She turns her attention back to her husband. "You okay?" she asks. His answer isn't particularly conventional. Instead of using his words, he kisses her. Hard. And she responds, half in surprise, half because she's been living with the man for a couple of weeks now and she does really like him.

"This okay?" he asks as he tugs her shirt over her head. She nods as she fumbles with the buttons on his. He kisses her neck and she tries not to think about the dolphin necklace hanging there.

**okay, so i know addison seems a little whorish but that's only because she's acting a little whorish. i promise it'll get better within the next couple chapters.**

**in the meantime, how 'bout some of those reviews i rambled about in the beginning?**

**-Juli-**


	6. Awkward Dinners and Other Bad Things

**and the plot thickens!**

**STILL not mine**

There is one thing that Addison knows about her marriage: it certainly didn't lack mind-blowing sex. Mark obviously knows all there is to know about her body, and the sex was, there is no other word for it, mind-blowing. But the thing is, even without her memory, the entire thing seems kind of old hat. Like routine. Come home, eat dinner, have mind-blowing sex. That sort of thing.

And if trying to regain her memory wasn't difficult enough, there's the small matter of the chain hanging around her neck. Sometimes there are times she is sure that damn dolphin is mocking her. Either that or watching her. Watching her and making her feel guilty. And the weird thing is she only feels the tiniest twinge of guilt when she thinks about Alex. That twinge is hardly noticeable compared to the steam roller that the guilt about sleeping with Mark is riding in. And that doesn't even make sense! She feels guilty about sleeping with her husband, but not the doctor she cheated on said husband with.

Addison sighs as she sits at the kitchen table and rubs her temples. Mark is at work, and she's glad of that. She so doesn't want to deal with him right now.

She jumps as the phone rings. It takes her a second to recover from the shock and then she picks it up. "Hello?"

"Addison?" A voice that is vaguely familiar exclaims. Then again, a lot of voices sound vaguely familiar now.

"Yeah?"

"Oh my God! You're okay! Thank God!"

Addison struggles to place the voice, but can't. "I'm sorry, may I ask who's calling?"

"Oh. God! Sorry! It's me, Sophia. You know, your best friend since, I don't know, about kindergarten? You don't remember me?"

"I don't remember a lot of people," Addison comforts her friend. "Don't take it personally."

"I'm not. I'm just glad you're alive! I heard about the accident. Mark told me. And then he said that you didn't want to talk to me. Is that true?" There's just a slight note of hurt in her voice.

"Sophia, don't be offended, but I don't even know who you are. How could I possibly know that I don't want to talk to you?"

"Oh my God, I am going to kill your husband. Why wouldn't you want to talk to your best friend, right?"

"Uh, right."

"Okay, well, I only had a minute, so I thought I'd call and check up on you. I'll come by soon, okay?"

"I- okay," Addison agrees.

"Bye."

"Bye." Only as Addison hangs up the phone does she recall the very first thing that she remembered. Sophia is a backstabbing bitch.

0ooo0

When Mark gets home that night, it's obvious that he's not in a good mood. The clenching and unclenching of the fists are, once again, a dead giveaway. "Bad day?" she asks quietly.

"You have no idea," he says and pulls her into a hug, one that's almost uncomfortably tight. "But it just got better," he tells her hair.

When he lets her go, she says mildly, "Sophia called today."

This is clearly the wrong thing to say, since he flies into a rage almost immediately. "What? God damn it! I told her not to call!" The anger in his voice and the flash of anger in his eyes cause her to step back.

"Mark," she says. "It's okay." She grabs his wrists and makes him look at her. She tries not to think of when Alex did the same thing to her. Mark calms down. "Dinner's getting cold," she states.

Dinner is the worst experience in memory. And okay, so she can't remember a lot of her life, it's still awful. Mark is sullen throughout the entire meal, and Addison can't draw him out. After dinner, he goes into his study and turns on the television. Addison sits in the master bedroom and tries to remember. She plays Sophia's voice over and over again and finally…

"_Addison, Addison, wait! Please, just listen to me! It's not like… Addie!"_

_Addison whirls around. "Don't call me Addie," she snarls._

"_It's not like that. It just happened… it's not what it seems like," Sophia offers just about every excuse that she can come up with._

"_Really?" Addison spats. "Because I'm pretty sure that it seems like you were having sex with my husband. And I'm pretty sure that's what was actually going on, so I'm pretty sure that it is what it seems like."_

"_Addison-"_

"_Get out of my house. Leave." She's actually pretty calm, except when Sophia makes no move to leave. Then she barks, "Now!"_

"_Addison-"_

"_I thought you were my best friend. I thought you actually cared about me. Clearly I was wrong," Addison says. "You know, I have shared everything with you. Everything. But I won't share my husband. That's not fair. Get out."_

"_I-"_

"_Leave!" Finally Sophia leaves. Addison sighs and returns back upstairs. She starts packing a bag._

"_Addie," Mark says. Addison ignores him. "Addie, you have to say something."_

_She continues to pack her bag._

"_Addie, please."_

_Still packing. She concentrates on her suitcase, because she knows that if she looks at her husband, she'll start crying._

"_Addie."_

_She looks up, and as predicted, tears gather in her eyes. "I'm leaving," she announces. "I'm leaving, and you're not following."_

"_What?"_

"_You heard me. I'll get the divorce papers when I can look at you and not feel like I'm going to throw up." And with that she zips up her bag, walks out of the room and slams the door. She looks down at her hands and sees her rings. She rips them off and throws them at the door. And then she picks them up and shoves them into her bag, because she can't acknowledge the fact that her marriage is over. Not yet._

_She manages to get a flight to Seattle that leaves within the next couple hours. Not particularly difficult, since it's around ten o'clock at night. She sits in the terminal and tries not to cry. She thinks about what she's going to do once she gets there instead. Callie will let her stay, she knows that much. But she's going to have to figure out what she's going to do about work and all of that logical stuff. She shakes her head. She'll deal with that as she comes to it._

_The flight is uneventful. She debates getting a taxi, but then realizes that she has very little cash, only her credit cards, so she rents a car. It's raining, big surprise. She's about five miles from Callie's, stopped first at a light. The light turns green and she checks to make sure that no one's going to run the light. She doesn't see anyone so she starts to go. A car comes screaming out of nowhere and even though it slams on its brakes, hits her. She hears the crunch of metal on metal and blacks out._

She comes out of her reverie and finds that she's crying. And she knows that she can't stay there anymore. This time she doesn't even bother to pack a bag. She grabs her purse and that's it. She has to pass Mark's study to get to the door, so she pokes her head in. "I'm leaving," she announces, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

He looks up. "Okay. Come back soon." She nods, but says nothing. And then she walks out of her life in New York for the second time.

**i know you want to review after that whole thing :D**

**-Juli-**


	7. Flights and Other Repeat Performances

**and i have more for you! goodness, i'm good. even with the distraction of bones, ncis, law and order: criminal intent, psych, and monk, i STILL got you a new chapter. that's because i love you all just so much. speaking of which, you guys are freaking amazing! 12 reviews for the last chapter! i will admit, i counted those up and did a happy dance. so thank you, you are beyond amazing.**

**and even though you guys are amazing, i still don't own anything.**

It was stupid. Completely and utterly stupid. Falling for a patient, a _married _patient. The first part is right up Izzie's alley, and the latter right up Meredith's. He really needs to stop spending time with those two. They're obviously affecting him.

The married part doesn't bug him nearly as badly as the patient part. He fell for Kate. _Kate _wasn't married. And he didn't know Addison when he fell for Kate. The way he thinks about her, it sounds like she's got a split personality or something, but that's the only way he can deal. It's not _Kate _that Mark is touching, holding, loving, it's Addison. That's how he can deal with the married part. It's the patient part that gets him. Patients aren't permanent, every doctor knows that. They either get better and leave, or they die. Either way, once they're out of the doors of their room, in all likelihood, they're gone forever. That's why you don't get attached to patients.

He hasn't been the same since she left. He knows he's acting differently, but he can't help it. He also knows that both Izzie and Meredith have noticed. And because of that knowledge, he knows that he must be acting really strange, since Meredith came out of her universe, the one where everything revolves around her, long enough to notice that he's acting weird. And that just pisses him off, because he shouldn't be this affected just because a patient went home.

He's sulking on the couch in the living room when Izzie comes bounding in. He knew he would regret moving into Meredith's house at some point. Looks like now is that point. "What?" he snaps, because he really doesn't want to deal with her.

"You're acting weird. This is an intervention… thing."

"I'm not doing drugs, Iz," he sighs.

"I know that. But you're being weird all on your own. So this is an intervention thing."

He looks around, annoyed. "Don't you need some family for an intervention?" he points out, throwing out the only defense he has. Meredith walks in.

"That's what Mer's here for," Izzie replies. Alex rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Alex, we care about you. But you're being…" she trails off.

"Un-Alex-like," Meredith fills in. "And it's kind of annoying. Because I keep waiting for you to make some bitchy comment like you always do, and you never do, and it's weird. So stop."

Pointedly, he doesn't say anything.

"Maybe if you talked about whatever's making you act all un-Alex-like," Izzie suggests.

He raises an eyebrow without saying a word, trying not to think about how many times he saw Kate/Addison do the exact same thing.

"Okaay," Izzie says, dragging the word out. Then to Meredith she says, "He's been like this for three weeks now. What happened three weeks ago?"

Meredith thinks back. "Um… Derek and I had a picnic on the land and he started talking about where the house would be and I freaked out."

Izzie rolls her eyes. "I don't think he's being all weird because of your love life, Mer."

"Sorry, but you asked."

Alex can see Izzie straining not to roll her eyes a second time. "Uh, Cristina got in on the piggy-back because she "shows excellent promise in cardio", Burke's words not mine… you were on neuro all week and got all the other cool surgeries, because Derek can't stand to leave your side," she suggests.

Now Meredith tries not to roll her eyes. "A) I got the cool surgeries because I'm a good intern, not because I just happen to be sleeping with the head of neuro. And b) that would have annoyed him for like all of two seconds."

"Fine. You come up with something."

"Well, he'd only be this bitchy over a girl or something. But I haven't seen any girls hanging around here lately."

Izzie's eyes widen in sudden understanding. "No, but they have been hanging around the hospital!"

"What?" Meredith asks.

"His amnesiac chick… Abigail or something, I think. She got released! Her husb-"

Alex can't take any more. He cuts her off, yelling, "Can you stop talking about me like I'm not in the room? There's nothing wrong with me!" He gets up off the couch and storms towards the door. Then he turns around. "And for the record, her name's Addison, not Abigail." After that, he leaves.

Izzie looks at Meredith. "Definitely the chick."

0ooo0

During her flight, she forces herself to remember. Everything and anything is a valid point of interest, especially something that can help her figure out the mess inside her head. All of the remembering reveals something. Well, something more important than the other things revealed. She had been planning on leaving Mark. Planning, as in before she walked in on her husband and best friend. That explained the black hair. It had been so that it would be more difficult to recognize her, although, admittedly, not impossible. She had done it that day, and she had been planning to pack and leave before Mark got home that night. Which is why she was home early that day, and why she had inadvertently stumbled upon, or more like in on, the easiest reason to leave. Not that that had made the discovery any easier. It's one thing to leave your husband for your own safety, it's quite another to discover that the man you love is cheating on you with your closest friend.

She gets a taxi this time. This time she has cash. Plus, she's not too keen on the idea of driving herself to Callie's house, and address which fortunately turned up in the memories on the plane ride.

She stands on the doorstep, praying that someone's home. Otherwise she's going to look damn foolish. She tries to put the name Callie to a face, but struggles. All of the photo albums that Mark had shown her were all of them and their happy times, none of her old friends. Then the door opens and the woman she automatically knows to be Callie squeals, "Addison!"

0ooo0

It took an hour and a whole lot of tears, not just her own, but the story was told. The minute she walked into the house, Addison knew that she would be allowed to stay. Couldn't tell you how she knew, but she knew. She could also see why she would be friends with Callie. Callie seems like the exact opposite of Sophia. She won't take any bullshit, and she won't give you any either. Plus, she seems like the type of person to keep her hands off of married men. Probably why Sophia was the best friend in bed with her husband.

"So anything you want to do tomorrow?" Callie asks. She still feels guilty over the fact that she hadn't known that Addison was in the hospital. "We could do the tourist thing and hit up the Space Needle and stuff."

"Actually," Addison says, a slow smile lighting up her features. "There is one thing…"

0ooo0

She stares at the hospital, Callie by her side. "Are you coming with me?" she asks.

"Oh, I don't know," Callie replies.

"You should meet this guy, Cal, he's… okay, so I know that no one's perfect, but he seems pretty close," Addison sighs.

"Wow, that's some pedestal you've got him up on," Callie laughs. "Made of what? Gold, silver, diamonds, and other precious stones?"

Addison glares. "Haha, very funny."

"You called the guy near perfect. If that's not a pedestal, I'm a dog."

"Woof, woof," Addison jokes, and then steps towards the hospital. Callie doesn't follow her. "You coming?" she calls.

"No, I'll just stand out here and… look awkward for the amusement of passing visitors."

"Suit yourself."

She has no problem charming the woman at the front desk into paging Alex. He shows up within five minutes and stops dead in his tracks when he sees her. "Kate?" he whispers so quietly that she has to read his lips to understand.

"Actually," she says. "It's Addison. Addison Forbes Montgomery. And I knew that one day I would be glad that I didn't take my husband's name."

He's confused, she can tell. His brow furrows and he frowns. Plus, he asks, "What?" Pretty much a dead giveaway.

"My husband is a cheating bastard," she announces. "And not only that, he definitely has some anger management issues, so I ran away from him. That's why I was here in Seattle in the first place. I was going to my friend Callie's but I was in that accident. And now I'm back here at the hospital. Only this time I have my memory. Mostly, anyways." He's in shock now. The mouth hanging open makes it pretty obvious. She moves closer to him. "I'm getting a divorce," she tells him. "One way or another, I'm getting a divorce. And I'm not going back to New York. I don't know what that means to you, you can interpret that as you will, but I just thought you should know."

"I- I don't know what to say," he stumbles.

"You know, at this point in time, I'm not really big on the whole talking thing. I would much rather have you kiss me," she tells him, her grin somewhere between ecstatic at the prospect of his lips on hers again and mortified at being so direct.

She didn't have to ask him twice.

**so my prediction is that you liked this chapter. care to tell my crystal ball if it's correct?**

**-Juli-**


	8. Life and Other Difficult Things

**sorry this took so long! there were family things, and there were movies and everything was just hectic and non-condusive to writing. but here's the latest chapter. not my greatest, i'll admit, but i suppose it's decent.**

**and it's STILL not mine. i'm just borrowing people to play with.**

Addison was explaining. She felt she had a lot of that to do lately. She had to explain to Alex why she was back in Seattle, why she was here the first time, and why she was staying. She had to explain to Callie exactly why she was running from her husband and why it was imperative that Mark _not _be alerted to her whereabouts under any circumstances. She had to explain to her lawyer just exactly why she wanted a divorce. And even though the story changed with each telling, the bare bones were always the same.

She had never believed in fairy tales. Ever. Not even as a little girl. Everything in her life screamed that she would never be rescued from her gilded prison by a knight in shining armor. And then Mark happened.

He had come along, sweeping her off her feet, up onto his horse and off to happily ever after. He had brought her to a castle, one that was so much like her old one, only so much better. If only she had seen the castle for the cage it was.

It wasn't that she didn't love Mark. She did. For the five years of their marriage, she had been madly in love with her husband. But sometimes love just isn't enough.

About a year after their wedding, she began seeing just how much of a captive she was. Mark was angry. Angry at his parents, angry at his friends, angry at her, just plain angry at the world. And no, he had never hit her. There were a couple of times when she thought she was going to end up with a black eye or something, but she knew how to deal with those times. Not in any way she was proud of, mind you (this part was invariably said with the tears of memories in her eyes). And no, she didn't want to talk about it. But she would, just because the story wouldn't be complete without it.

The first time, it seemed just so trivial. He came home and she was cooking dinner. Baked potatoes, to be exact. And he started yelling about something to do with dinner, she never did figure out what exactly he was saying. Well, she had to get him to shut up somehow. So she walked over and just kissed him hard. And let him carry her to the bedroom. They ended up having Chinese take-out that night because the potatoes were ruined.

The story broke off here. She wouldn't go into any more details, not on this subject. So she would change it.

No, Mark wasn't horribly controlling. No, he didn't drink too much. He didn't do drugs. He didn't hit her. He didn't do any of that. She allowed him his rages because she loved him. They were a part of the man she loved and she would accept them, or at least, she would try to. Then almost two months ago, she realized she couldn't accept it. She was tired of having to gauge her husband's mood when he walked into the room. She was tired of being scared that one day he wouldn't be calmed down by the fierce kiss, the sex. So she was going to make her getaway. It was the absolute hardest thing that she'd ever had to decide. Was she scared of Mark? Yes. Did she love him? Yes, she did then. Did she want to leave him? No. She would have given anything to be able to stay. But she couldn't, so she left.

The next part of the story was confided only to Callie. Her lawyer didn't need to know and there was no way she would tell Alex, not in such a straightforward manner.

Then that car crash. She ended up in Seattle Grace with no memory. And Alex was there, helping her in every way possible. He made her feel special, loved even. He was there to laugh with her, to hold her when she cried. And even when he was annoyed with her, or angry, she had never felt safer. Alex was the anti-Mark. And she had fallen for him hard. And the best part was that she had fallen for him without a memory. Which may sound strange, but it meant she had fallen for him without Mark's influence. She hadn't fallen for him because he was a safe haven from Mark or because he was Mark's opposite. It was just girl meets boy. No complicated husband issues, just plain girl meets boy.

She would tell the story and she never failed to cry. She had never been a crier before. But apparently that blow to the head had messed with more than her memory. Because now she cried. And when she cried, Alex would hold her and just let her be.

0ooo0

He has never met a more complicated woman. Addison Forbes Montgomery is a study in paradoxes, starting with the name. The name sounds superior, the woman is totally down-to-earth. Her face seems angular and sharp at first, but if you catch her just at the right moment, or if you focus on her eyes, that same face seems soft and delicate. And while you're focusing on her eyes, you can try to decode all of the paradoxes there. The woman is broken, there is no doubt about that. But there is also something strong in her eyes, one that says that she's not broken, she's merely been roughed up a little.

From her eyes you can tell when she's thinking about Mark. It's clear that she still loves him, but she knows that she can't. And he knows enough not to get jealous. Mark's the husband, he's just the guy who happens to really, really like his wife. But even though Mark's the husband, there is no way in hell that Alex is letting Addison go back to him. She doesn't have to stay with him, but she won't go back to Mark. He can take her walking out on him, but he can't stand the thought of her walking back into that, and getting hurt. That much he knows.

0ooo0

"Okay. Thank you, Dr. Webber. You have no idea how much this means to me," Addison says, shaking the Chief of Surgery's hand. She knows that she's taking a huge risk, taking a job, making it rather easy for Mark to find her, but she's sick of sitting around and doing nothing. And, sure, both Callie and Alex are pretty sure she's insane for leaving such an obvious trail, but it feels good to finally be doing something. Besides, she'll have to contact Mark if she wants to divorce him.

She walks out of Dr. Webber's office to find Alex waiting. "You waited this whole time?" she asks, amazed. He shrugs. "You are one of a kind," she tells him.

"What can I say? I try."

She laughs. He's become such a big part of her life; it's hard to imagine a time that she managed without him. It's hard to imagine that she almost had to. She shakes off the weird feeling of foreboding, turns to him and suggests, "Hey, let's go somewhere."

Now he laughs. "What? Where?"

"I don't know. We could go to the Space Needle or something. Please?" she pouts. She knows that she's not exactly playing fair, but she suddenly she just feels the need to be near him. She has the sense that whatever they have is about to get a hell of a lot more complicated.

He finally breaks. "Fine. Let me take a sick day."

She smiles. "Thank you."

0ooo0

They spend the day peacefully doing all the touristy things, which Addison hasn't been able to, although she can never come up with a reason why. They spend the night at his place, out of respect for George and Callie. That next morning, she lies in his arms, and at that moment, everything just makes sense. She scoots even closer to him, allowing herself to momentarily stop thinking about anything else. Then she props herself up on her elbow. "Things are going to change," she says. He doesn't say anything, waiting, instead, for her to explain herself. "I mean, with my job and all of that. It means I'm staying, for awhile at least. And it means that Mark can find me."

"It does," he replies carefully, not exactly sure where this whole thing is going.

She studies his face, which remains slightly impassive, but caring. "I'm scared," she admits finally. "I mean, he scares me. He's… violent." She has to pause to find a word.

Suddenly all impassivity drops off of his face. "I won't let him touch you," he says passionately. "He won't hurt you."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

It takes him a second but he figures out what she means. "You're seriously worried about me?" he asks. "Me? You're the one with the abusive husband and you're worried about me?"

"He's not abusive," she points out, "Just violent. There's a difference, you know. And yes, I _am _worried about you. He won't hurt me, but I don't think you're so lucky."

"Don't worry about me," he tells her. "You have enough to worry about without me adding to it."

She smiles and kisses him. "Thank you," she mumbles against his lips. He doesn't reply, just deepens the kiss.

0ooo0

She spends the next couple of days in a state of paranoia. She keeps expecting Mark to pop up and acts accordingly. It's actually a relief when he does show up.

She gets a page asking her to come to the front desk of the hospital on her fourth day of work at Seattle. When she sees who it is, she ducks out of sight and pages Alex. That out of the way, she approaches him, crossing her arms in front of her, as if they'll protect her. "Mark," she says quietly.

"Addison!" he exclaims. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Working."

"In Seattle? Why? Why would you run out like that? Just "I'm going out" and then you never come back! Do you know how worried I've been? I thought that you'd been in another accident or something!"

She sighs. "Mark, I think you know why I'm out here and not in New York with you. What were you going to do when I remembered?" she asks. "Or were just hoping that if you didn't do anything to remind me, I might not remember?"

She sees a flash of doubt cross his face, and then she knows that he settles on playing dumb. "What are you talking about?" he asks.

She refrains from rolling her eyes. "You scare me, Mark. You really, really scare me. I don't want to do that to myself."

Just as Mark looks like he might almost be considering thinking about what she's saying, Alex approaches. "Addie, are you okay?" he asks, touching her face, as if to make sure that she's truly fine.

Mark's face darkens. "Oh. I get it," he sneers. "You know what I think, Addie? I think that I don't really scare you. I think you're just angry about Sophia. And you just are saying that I scare you so that you can get out and just go off with your precious doctor. But we're not through. I'm not done fighting for you. You're my wife legally, and I know that if you dig deep enough, you'll see that you're still married to me emotionally. You can't get rid of that just because of some hotshot doctor."

"I think you need to shut up," Alex tells him.

"Oh yeah?" Mark asks.

Alex looks almost like he's trying to laugh. "Yeah. You want to know what I think? I think that you're an ass who thinks that the world exists for him. I think that you think that just because Addison had your ring on her finger that makes her yours. And I think that if you don't get off of hospital property within the next ten seconds, I'll make you leave." Thankfully, Alex sees the fist coming. He grabs it, and twists Mark's arm behind his back, using that as a way to get Mark to the door. As he shoves Mark out of the door, he tells him, "Stop harassing your wife." Then he returns to Addison's side.

**so i hope you liked it. i also hope that you feel like you're going to leave a review!**

**-Juli-**


	9. Honesty and Other Nerve Wracking Things

**Sorry about the delay, my muse seems to be a little flighty lately. And unfortunately this will probably be my last update until the week after next, unless my muse works overtime. Family vacation without a computer. It's a problem.**

**Oh, and you might want to note the new pen name. It's my favorite song, in case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't, but that's okay. Now you know a useless piece of information.**

**I'm simply borrowing these people for my own amusement, unfortunately they are in no way mine.**

"Addison," Callie yells through the closed bathroom door. "You have to come out at some point."

The only response is some muffled sniffing.

"Seriously, do not make me pick the lock in my own house. I will, but I won't be happy about it."

Slowly, the door opens. Callie is shocked into silence when she sees Addison. Her clothes are wrinkled and her eyes are red and puffy from crying. "Jeez," Callie finally breathes. For some reason that sets off another round of sobs. Callie pulls her into a hug.

Addison finally speaks when she calms down. She straightens up and wipes viciously at her face. "I knew this would happen. I knew it would happen and I thought I was ready for it. But, obviously, I'm not."

Callie has not heard the story yet. Addison managed to make it through the work day acting at least semi-normal. Normal enough to trick Alex into thinking that she was okay-ish and that he didn't need to follow her home. But the second she had come home, she ran to the bathroom and hadn't come out since. "What? What happened?" Callie asks, guiding Addison into the guest room and sitting her down.

Addison stares at the wall behind Callie. "Mark's here. In Seattle. Here. He tracked me down." A solitary tear rolls down Addison face. Callie stays quiet. "I knew he would. I knew that he would the second I took the job, but I thought I could handle it. But I can't. I can't do it. I can't look at him, and when he's here I can't even look at Alex."

"What?" Callie asks. "You're not making sense."

Addison's bottom lip trembles. "I slept with him, Cal."

"Alex? Yeah, I kind of figured."

Addison shakes her head. "No. Well, yes, but no."

"Yes, but no? I lied before, _now _you're not making any sense."

"Yes, I did sleep with Alex, but no, that's not what I was talking about," Addison explains.

"But… you slept with Mark? Of course you did, I mean you've been doing so for the past seven years."

"Seven? I've only been married five," Addison points out.

"I know."

Addison scrunches up her face. "Hadn't remembered that. Didn't need to either. But still not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean I slept with Mark in New York. After the accident."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. I don't know what to do!"

"You haven't told Alex?" Callie guesses.

Addison nods. "And knowing Mark, he'll totally use that to his advantage."

"So take the chance away," Callie shrugs.

"W-what?" Addison stutters.

"Come on, Addie, you're smart. You know if you tell Alex then Mark can't use it against you."

"But… I…"

"For God's sake, you're _married. _You're allowed to sleep with your freaking husband. It's how the whole marriage thing works. Besides, wasn't Alex the one who said to try to make the marriage work?"

"I don't think that was particularly what he had in mind," Addison pouts.

Callie rolls her eyes. "Look, Addie, I'm going to say something, and you're going to listen, even though you won't like it that much. But I get to say it because I'm your best friend. You've got this great guy, and I know that you don't want to lose him because your husband's an asshole. So tell him. He can't say anything; he's the one who told you to go back to Mark anyways. Tell him, and if he's stupid about it, I will personally kick his ass."

Addison chuckles at that. Then she becomes quiet. "You don't think he'll be mad?"

"I think that you could tell him that you're having Mark's baby and he would still be totally in love with you."

A look of panic crosses Addison's face. "Oh God, please, no," she mumbles, looking towards heaven. Then Callie's words register. "You… you think he's in love with me?" she asks nervously.

Callie laughs. "I think the only people who don't know it are you and him. Except now you know. So just him."

"Oh," Addison says quietly. She bows her head in a lame attempt to try the smile that's beginning to take over her face.

Callie smiles when she sees it. "Feeling better?" she asks. Addison nods. "Then I suggest you call Alex and make him come over. The sooner you tell him, the better."

Addison looks heavenwards again and takes a deep breath. "Okay."

0ooo0

It only takes Alex a half an hour to show up at Callie's house, but that's quite long enough in Addison's book. The second he rings the doorbell, she flings the door open and hugs him. He's a little taken aback, but before he can make some smartass remark, she says, "We need to talk." He's a little wary as he agrees. She leads him into the living room and motions for him to sit on the couch. She doesn't sit down, choosing, instead, to pace back and forth in front of him. "Okay, look, I just… don't hate me until I'm done, okay?" She doesn't wait for an answer before she plows on. "I slept with Mark. In New York. After I went back. After I met you. I just… I was missing you and… Mark was being so sweet… and I hadn't remembered anything… and… and… I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! I just… it was stupid, but… he'll use that. I just… I thought you should know from me, and not from Mark. I just… I'm sorry." She looks him in the eyes for the first time since he walked in the door as she says the last two words. He stays silent, and his eyes aren't talking either. "Are you… Aren't you going to say something?" she finally asks.

Now he doesn't meet her eyes. "I don't know, Addie," he says. The nickname's a good sign, right? "Half of me knows that he's your husband and that I told you to try and make your marriage work, but half of me wants to tear the guy limb from limb for ever touching you. And I don't know which side's stronger."

Addison sits down next to him. "I don't… I don't have an excuse for it," she says. "If I could go back in time and change the fact, I would. But I can't. If it's any consolation, I feel so guilty, I feel sick when I think about it." He can't come up with anything to say, so he draws her into a hug. Eventually, she mumbles into his shoulder, "So you don't hate me?"

"I don't," he replies to her hair.

"Oh, thank God," she breathes. She raises her head to look at him. "I was so nervous, you have no idea."

"What? You actually think that I'm going to let a stupid thing like you sleeping with your husband ruin this thing, whatever it is?" he asks, a smile playing at his lips.

"I did. Now, I know better. But I really wish you'd stop calling him my husband. Not exactly something I want to remember."

"Gladly," he laughs.

0ooo0

The next couple of days seem to be Addison's own personal circle of hell. Mark won't leave her alone, and she can tell that Alex is starting to get pissed off. Callie's annoyed at how many times Mark calls the house and no matter what Addison does, she can't get him to stop.

Callie finds her sitting in the guest room, cradling her head in her hands. "You okay?" Callie asks.

Addison looks up. "I think I have to break up with Alex."

"What?! Why?"

"Not for good. I just- I think that me being with Alex is just making Mark worse. Maybe if we're not together, Mark will lay off a little."

Callie blinks a couple of times before answering. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Ever."

"Fine, you come up with something. The only other thing I could think of was to run again and just totally start over."

"You're just surpassing yourself on the stupidity scale today, aren't you?"

"Stop being sarcastic and help me!"

"Running or breaking up with Alex's not going to help anything. Look, you've got this amazing guy who didn't even get mad at you for sleeping with another guy. You need to stop running away and man up if you want a happily ever after with him. And believe me, no one deserves it more than you two. But if you're going to do that, you need to deal with Mark. And I don't just mean that you need to talk to him. You need to convince him that a divorce is the best thing for both of you."

Addison sighs. "Okay. You're right."

Callie smiles. "Of course I am. Now, I'm going to shower because I feel disgusting."

Addison returns the smile. "Okay." As Callie walks out the door, Addison calls. "Hey Cal?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Callie's head pops back in the door. "No problem."

A few minutes after Addison hears the water turn on, the doorbell rings. She walks to the door and opens it, revealing a gorgeous brunette with sparkling green eyes and a mop of curls.

Addison struggles to keep her mouth from dropping to the floor. Finally, she says, "Sophia."

**I know, not exactly a nice place to leave it, especially with that whole vacation thing, but I hope you liked the chapter enough to make up for it. You can tell me in a review...**


	10. I Don't Care and Other Confessions

**hey guys! i'm back, as i have been for awhile. sorry about the delay, i just wasn't inspired. i DID, however, write a oneshot that may or may not make an appearance later today. i have to decide if it's good enough and then type it up. but i haven't decided yet. anyways, enough of that, you can just go read now.**

**still not mine and i'm too tired to come up with some creative way to say so.**

"Addie!" Sophia exclaims. Before Addison has a chance to respond, she's being pulled into a tight hug. "Oh my God! I was on a plane the second I heard you were here! What is it with you and this city? I mean, you'd think you'd have the sense to stay away from someplace that you nearly died in. I mean, come on, Addie. Really? What's so great about this city anyways?"

It takes all of Addison's will power not to slap the woman across the face. "What are you doing here, Sophia?" she asks in a monotone voice.

"I heard you were out here, and I came to convince you to come back home! Mark and I have been missing you! And everybody else too!"

"You want me to come home? Seriously?" Addison asks in the same tone.

"Well, yeah, of course I do! I mean what am I going to do in New York without my best friend?"

"Oh, I don't know," Addison replies, her voice back to its normal tone. "Maybe my husband?" she suggests nonchalantly.

Sophia blanches. "W-what? Why would you… What makes you say that?" she stutters.

Addison rolls her eyes. "Oh, give it up. I mean, did you really think that I wasn't going to remember? Seriously?"

Sophia tries to laugh it off. "What's with you and this new "seriously" thing? You never used to use that word like that and now you're all like seriously this, seriously that."

Once again, Addison struggles to not slap her. This time it's even harder, her right hand is just itching to jerk up and hit her. But she manages. Barely. "Anyways," Sophia continues. "Are you going to invite me in or something? Cuz this is kind of rude."

Addison stares for a second; trying to figure out if she really just heard that. "No!" she exclaims. "I'm not going to let a backstabbing, adulterous whore like you into my home. It's just plain not going to happen. I can't believe you!"

Sophia's eyes darken. "You want to know something, Addison? You and I, we're not that different. I know all about you and your intern or whatever. Yeah, Mark told me. Because you want to know something? Mark doesn't really love you. He wants you back for appearances. He _really _loves me. You want to know why it took him so long to come get you from the hospital? He was with _me_. And that night you walked in on us? Not the first time. I doubt any amount of couples' counseling's going to help fix that."

Addison tries not to laugh. "You know what, Soph?" she says, the old nickname slipping out before she can stop it. "I don't care. It doesn't matter how long you've been sleeping with him. Keep sleeping with him, see if I care. You can marry the freaking guy for all I care. In fact, if you could marry him, that'd be great, because then maybe he'd actually consider a divorce. Take him. He's all yours. I don't care anymore."

Sophia looks shocked. "But… I… he said…"

Addison shakes her head. "Get out," she orders quietly. "Just leave."

For once in her life, Sophia does as she's told.

0ooo0

Addison contemplates dragging Callie out of the shower to vent, but restrains herself. Callie deserves at least fifteen minutes of Addison-free time, since her life right now's kind of all Addison, all the time. She picks up the phone to call Alex, but the same thing applies to him. So she sits at the table in the kitchen and waits for Callie to enter back into the realm of Addison. As she does, tears start slipping down her face.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Callie exclaims as she walks into the room, hurrying to her friend's side. "What's wrong? Did Mark call again or something?"

"No," Addison replies weakly. "Sophia showed up."

"Wait. _Sophia_ Sophia? As in backstabbing whore of an ex-best friend Sophia?"

Addison chuckles quietly before answering, "That would be the one."

"_Why_?"

"You know, I'm not really sure. I mean, she didn't really seem to have a point. She just kind of showed up and was all gushy about how she missed me and stuff. That is, until I told her that I remembered. And then she wanted to come in, and I kind of just exploded."

"Did you slap her? Because that girl deserves a serious slapping."

"I wish. No, I just called her a backstabbing, adulterous whore, and shegot pissed at me. Apparently she and Mark have been talking, because she knows about Alex. Oh, and when I caught them in bed together? Yeah, not the first time."

"_What?!_"

Addison shrugs. "Yeah, who knew?"

"You're surprisingly calm about all of this. I mean, after finding all this out and her showing up and all."

Addison meets Callie's eyes for the first time since the conversation started. "I just… I don't care anymore. I just want them gone. I don't want anything to do with them. I just want to get divorced and they can go back to New York." She takes a shaky breath. "But that's not happening any time soon, so I guess I'll just… I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I don't know that there's much you _can _do," Callie replies honestly. "I think that you're just stuck trying to get rid of them."

"Excellent," Addison sighs. "And you know the thing about both of them?"

"What?"

"Neither quits until they get what they want."

0ooo0

The next day, Addison has a bad feeling. Not just a bad feeling, an apocalyptic, horrible feeling. She's tempted to just climb back in bed and never come out, but then there's a strong, more curious part, that wants to know why she has the feeling. So she gets dressed and goes into the hospital as per usual. She eats lunch with Alex as per usual. Everything goes as per usual. Which is just horrible, since she's still got that feeling lurking behind all the work thoughts that pretty much consume her mind. It's not until the end of the day that the reason becomes apparent. She exits the hospital to find Mark waiting. With a roll of her eyes, she walks over. "What are you doing here?" she asks, trying and failing to unclench her jaw.

He looks at her with earnest eyes. "I heard Sophia visited you," he says.

She tries not to sigh. She really does not want to deal with this. Not now, not ever. "Yes." She regrets not denying it the second the affirmative is out of her mouth.

"What she told you, about her and me, everything, she's lying. Addie, you know that I'd never do something like that to you."

Addison's eyes are sad as she says, "That's the thing, Mark, I don't."

"Why do you believe her over me?" Mark practically yells.

"Because she's not a desperate man trying to win me back!" Addison yells back. The action startles her, she can't remember yelling at Mark. Ever. It obviously startles him too, because he's speechless. "Mark," she sighs. "Don't you get it? I don't trust you, I can't, and I don't really want to. We're just not going to work. Maybe we did. I mean, we had to, because I loved you. But I loved you. Loved. As in I don't anymore. And I don't think you really love me either. The fact that you know Sophia's here and visited me proves it. Because you won't cut ties with the one person, aside from you, that hurt me."

"Addie, I love you," he interrupts. "I'll do anything. I'll stop talking to Sophia, I won't even-"

"No, you won't," she interrupts his interruption. "Please, Mark, just give up."

Obviously the wrong thing to say because his face hardens. "No."

"Mark," she groans.

"I love you, and I'm not letting go. Not yet." And then he storms off.

She barely has time to sigh before Alex is beside her. "What was that all about?" he asks.

"I… I don't know," she answers.

"You don't know?" he repeats, sounding annoyed. "You were just talking to him, and you don't know? Addie, I've had a really long day, I don't want to deal with cryptic answers right now."

She swallows and turns to face him. "Fine. If you must know, Sophia."

"Huh?"

"Sophia came to see me yesterday. She told me some things that Mark didn't want me hearing. He was here to do damage control."

"Wait, Sophia's here?" Alex asks.

"Yeah."

"And she came to see you? And you didn't tell me?" Now he's about a step away from yelling.

"Why are you getting angry with me?" she asks, matching his tone.

"Because you didn't tell me!"

"I didn't tell you what? I mean, what was I supposed to say, Alex?! "Oh, by the way, on top of all this other crap you have to deal with, the woman my ex cheated with is here"?! And when was I supposed to say that, I've hardly seen you all day!"

"At lunch time," he replies as if it's obvious.

"Oh yeah, because that would have gone over so well. "Here's your sandwich, Sophia's here, don't forget your chips". You would have gone ballistic in the cafeteria!" Even though he's not truly yelling, she is. "Believe or not, I don't have to tell you everything!" She knows she's blowing this entirely out of proportion, but she's tried to stay positive throughout this entire thing, and that just made her pent up her anger. Now that anger makes her pull out the lowest blow she can think of. "In case you've forgotten, you're not my husband! I already have one of those!"

He's shocked into speechlessness.

"I just don't get why you care so much," she says, much quieter, her rage slowing dying.

But now he's angry and yelling. "Because I care, damn it! In case you haven't noticed, I love you and if I can't protect you, I'm going to go crazy. And I can't protect you when you don't tell me things like that! But you obviously don't care, so I'll just… I'll go then." He turns around and practically runs away.

That tirade shocks Addison into speechlessness. It even causes paralysis, so she can't run after him. Because she's an incredibly difficult person to slip words by, and even though it was surrounded by a bunch of other words, she heard that "I love you" and it scares her. Because those three words may have been exactly what she had been thinking, but wouldn't admit to herself. And that means she's got something real, not just some fling. It means that she isn't giving up a home with one of the country's foremost plastic surgeons, with designer clothes and a home in the Hamptons, for nothing. She has something to not only fall back on, but to run to. And she's never been the running type of gal. At least with a fling, she wouldn't have had to deal with all of these complicated feelings.

A fling would have been better. She would have preferred a fling.

**so, despite the delay, did you like it?**

**-Juli-**


	11. Hang Ups and Other Disconnections

**a/n: guys i am soo sorry. they really ought to make you sign a waver when you enter junior year, signing away your right to all free time and sleep. grr... anyways, i hope you like this. in one of the rare moments when i had free time, i read back over this story and decided that addison was a little to damsel-in-distress-y for me, so i tried to make her a little bit stronger. which meant that i had to rewrite the original chapter i had for this. which is part of why this took so long. anyways, there's only a minimal amount of crying in this one. :D**

**disclaimer: i don't own grey's. but BIG NEWS!! i now own justin chambers, and therefore alex karev. however, i am willing to share him with kate walsh/addison. everyone else can back the hell off. geez, if only, right? on the plus side, i do own sophia. although i'm not so sure that's a plus...**

Callie bangs on the door. "Addison, if you're going to lock yourself in, could you at least lock yourself into your room? People might actually need to use the bathroom and I have difficulties picking this lock."

Addison doesn't answer.

Callie sighs and tries again. "Addie, come on, open up."

No answer.

"This was easier yesterday," Callie grumbles. Then she calls through the bathroom door. "What's wrong? Is it Mark? Sophia?"

The door opens slowly and Callie almost falls, since she had been leaning on it. "No," Addison sniffs. Callie frowns, this is obviously not the answer she was expecting. "It's Alex."

"What?!" Callie screeches.

"I- I think we might have broken up."

"What?!" Callie screeches again. "When? Why?"

"On the plus side," Addison continues, ignoring the shocked expression on Callie's face. "He loves me. So that's good."

"What?! He told you that he loves you and you break up? I'm so confused."

Addison sighs. "I don't know that we broke up. But we fought. We definitely fought. I yelled at him, and he stormed off, and I just… what if he doesn't forgive me?"

Callie's silent for a moment. Then she shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure out where the whole "I love you" thing comes into play."

"He got really mad at me for not telling him that Sophia was here, and, after yelling at him and pulling out just about every hurtful thing I could think of, I told him that I couldn't figure out why he cared so much. And he yelled that he cares and that in case I haven't noticed, he loves me and if he can't protect me, he'll go crazy. And then he said if I didn't care, he'd go." Addison begins to cry again.

Callie hugs her supportively. "That doesn't sound like a break up to me," she says.

"You didn't hear me," Addison replies.

"What'd you say?"

Addison studies the hardwood of the hallway. It really is a pretty color wood, she notices. "I told him that I didn't have to tell him everything and that he wasn't my husband, because I already have one of them."

Callie winces. "Ow, Addie. You really know how to hit below the belt, don't you?"

"I didn't mean to!" Addison wails.

George comes out of the living room. "Everything okay?" he asks.

Callie shoots him a look. "Really?" she asks. He shrugs. "No," she replies. "It's not. But it will be soon. As soon as Addison gets to a telephone."

Both Addison and George look at her and say, "Huh?"

Callie looks at Addison. "You are going to get to a phone and you are going to call and apologize, because you were a bitch, but something like that shouldn't destroy your chances with him. He'll accept. He loves you, he'll accept."

Addison hesitates and George speaks up. "Addison, she's right. I can tell just from the way he talks about you. You should call him."

Addison swallows and smiles weakly. "Okay." She walks towards her room, where her cell phone is, then turns around. "You know, I'm going to have to keep you around. You keep fixing my mistakes. Thanks."

Callie laughs. "No problem. Go call him."

Addison nods and does as she's told. Longest time it has ever taken anyone to pick up. Ever. "Hello?" he says.

She can't bring herself to say anything. After he says hello a couple more times he hangs up and she listens to the dial tone.

0ooo0

She finds him the next day before rounds, but when he sees her, he walks away. She chases after him. "Alex, please, just listen. Please," she begs.

He turns around and snaps, "What?"

"I just… I wanted to apologize for what I said. And I understand if you're still mad, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry." He nods and doesn't say anything. "Alex? Please… just say something?"

"I'm still mad," he informs her.

She nods slowly. "Okay. That's… okay. I understand. I'm sorry. Um… I'll go now."

He waits until she's turned around and ready to walk away before he says, "I'm not done."

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before she turns around. "What?"

"I'm still mad," he repeats. "But that doesn't mean I want to fight you."

A slow smile starts to appear on Addison's face. "Okay."

"Okay."

She crosses her arms. "So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know."

"Okay." After an awkward silence, she says, "So… you tried to sneak it by me last night, but… what you said last night? Do you… um, did you mean that?"

"I don't lie," he replies.

She smiles. "I've noticed. So I guess that gives us somewhere to start."

"I guess."

More awkward silence. Silently, she yells at herself for getting herself into this. "I…" she starts, but trails off. She tries again. "Alex, I…" More failure.

"Addison, it's-" he tries to say something, presumably so that she doesn't have to say anything, but she cuts him off.

"No, Alex. I just… I need you, okay? I know I can be a complete bitch and I say things that I know will hurt, but I need you. But in order for this to work, I need you to understand that I'm going to get mad and I'm going to say things like I did last night. And I need to know that you're not going to storm away every time I bring up Mark. I need to know that you're not going to get mad because I don't tell you things that really aren't that important. I just… I need you, but I don't need that."

He doesn't say anything, but slowly starts to nod. "Okay," he agrees. "But Addie, I'm going to get mad."

"I know. And I will too. But if we could just not sort of break up every time, I think that we'd be fine."

He laughs. "Okay."

She smiles back. "Okay."

"You know, there's still one thing I'm trying to figure out," he tells her.

"What's that?"

"Why you're still over there."

With a grin, she practically flies into his arms, into a temporary happily ever after.

0ooo0

A couple of days go by with no incident. Addison figures that Mark and Sophia are regrouping, trying to figure out the best move. Friday night Callie and George leave for the weekend on a vacation that they've been planning for months. Callie didn't want to leave, but Addison insisted that she'd be fine. Callie consented after Alex offered to stay with Addison.

The whole of Saturday is rather blissful for Addison and Alex, both of whom arranged to have the day off. It's Saturday night when chaos comes rolling back into their lives.

It's around seven when the doorbell rings. Addison drags herself out of bed and Alex's arms, still sweaty from the day's activities. She pulls on her underwear and Alex's shirt and goes to answer the door. She opens it to find a rather wobbly Sophia. "Hey Adds!" she greets.

"What the hell, Sophia?"

"I just… I wanted to say… God, you're pretty Addie, d'ya know that? So pretty."

"You're drunk."

"I never used to get it. I mean, why Mark chose you. Because I was always like, she's kind of a bitch, you know? But I get it now. You're really pretty. And from what Mark said, really good in bed."

Although Addison wants nothing more than to slam the door in her ex-friend's face, her mothering instinct kicks in. "How'd you get here, Sophia?"

Sophia doesn't answer, but seems to take in Addison's appearance for the first time. "Ooh, what have you been doing, missy?" She feels Addison's chest, which Addison promptly steps away from. "You're not wearing a bra! Addie, you skank! Are you even wearing panties under there? Who's shirt is that anyways? Is that your hotshot doctor's? Is he here? Can I meet him?"

"No, you can not meet him. How'd you get here, Sophia?"

"Addie, are you okay?" Alex walks into the living room.

"Is this him?" Sophia screeches, and stumbles past Addison into the house. "He's hot Addie!"

Mark come running up the walkway. "Mark, what the hell are you doing here?" Addison asks, annoyed.

"Sorry, Addie. I put her in a taxi, but she must have given this address instead."

"Then why are you here?"

"I was following the taxi," he says as if it was normal procedure.

"You could have just driven her home, you know."

"Didn't think about it."

Addison sighs. "Just get her out of here."

She looks back into the living room, where Alex is trying to get away from Sophia.

"Hey, baby, come here!" Sophia slurs. "Aren't you the least bit curious about what Mark left her for? I mean, I have to be better, right?"

Alex looks scared and Addison wants to cry. Or laugh at the absurdity of the situation. But mostly cry. "Mark, get her out of here."

"Addie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this…"

A light-bulb goes off in Addison's head. "Yes, you did. I don't know why, but you did."

There's silence for a moment, until Sophia says, "Come here, baby." Addison turns around to see Sophia attempting to sloppily make-out with Alex, who promptly shoves her away.

"Okay, that's it! Get out! Get out now! I tried to be nice, I really did. But that is the last straw. Get out before I call the police. Just leave and take her with you. I don't want to see either of you ever. Leave! Get out of here, get out of Seattle, go back to New York! Go wherever, I don't care, just leave me alone!"

"Addie," Mark starts.

"Don't think I won't call the police on you. I will," she tells him. "I can probably press charges on harassment, as well as trespassing, so get the hell out of here."

Sophia looks at Addison. "God, Addie, why are you such a bitch all of the time? You think you're so much better than us, but who's the one having the affair now, huh? You can't judge us, you're doing the exact same thing to Mark. God, you're such a bitch!"

"Get her out of here!" Addison snaps at Mark. He, for once, does as he's told, leaving Addison and Alex alone.

"That was…" Alex starts.

Addison interrupts him. "I am so sorry about that. God. I hate her. I really hate her. And then Mark!"

"Addison. Stop. It's over now."

Addison stops for a moment. "You're right. You're right."

Alex hugs her. "You did good."

She smiles. "I did, didn't I?" She kisses him. "You know," she smirks against his lips, "I don't recall saying I was finished with you yet." And they stumble back towards Addison's room.

**soooooo... reviews? they might tempt me away from that homework to write...**

**-Juli-**


	12. See You? And Other Important Questions

**a/n: that's right, i finally updated this one! i must admit, i'm rather proud of myself, since i had to just force myself to sit down and right it (which is not an easy thing for me, let me tell you). anyways, like i said in my other author's note in "Kids Say The Darndest Things" (p.s. go check that out, if you haven't already), this is my last update for awhile (not really different from the spaces in between my updates. in fact, if i update before next sunday, i will be infinitely impressed with myself), since my family's taking a little vacation to the happiest place on earth (aka disneyland). so savor this chapter.**

**santa brought me everything on my wishlist, save a laptop and ownership of grey's, therefore it is still not mine.**

* * *

They see neither hide nor hair from Mark or Sophia for a few days, which is both heaven and hell for Addison. On one hand, it's nice to not have to deal with them. On the other hand, the paranoia returns, and she just wishes that one or the other will show up in order to reassure her that they haven't hired a hit man to kill Alex or something ridiculous like that, which she wouldn't actually put past either of them.

She's scanning the chart of her next patient when a firm hand places itself on the small of her back, the other on her arm to hold her, and guides her into the nearest on call room. She looks up and starts to struggle when she sees Mark. "We need to talk," he says as he keeps his grip on her.

"There is nothing that we need to talk about," she replies, as he glides her through the door, closing it behind him. He stands in the way, and Addison knows that any sort of escape (save jumping out of the window, which wouldn't be a smart move, considering the fact that they're on the fourth floor) is impossible. She has a snowball's chance in hell of managing to get past him to the door. She rolls her eyes, trying to hide the fear she's feeling. It's Mark, and she's pretty sure that he won't hurt her, but then again, isn't the "pretty sure" part of that statement the exact reason she left him in the first place? Aside from the whole cheating thing, of course. Deep breath in, out. "What the hell do you want, Mark?"

"I just want to talk to you."

"And you had to kidnap me to do so?"

"Okay, A) not kidnapping you and B) you'd never talk to me any other way."

There's nothing Addison can really say to that, considering it's true, so she settles for sighing exasperatedly.

Mark studies her. "I really screwed it up with you, didn't I?" he asks.

"Yeah. You did."

Mark looks up, then back at her. "Why don't you get that I just want the woman I love back?"

"Mark, this isn't love. This is weirdly obsessive jealousy," Addison replies.

"Addie, I have never stopped loving you. Ever. I never meant to hurt you, and I just want a second chance."

"I've given you a million second chances, Mark. You hurt me so many times, and every single time, I let you back in, because I thought you loved me. I don't have any more second chances to give you."

"Addie, please… I love you. Sophia… she's just a fling. A stupid mistake that I never want to repeat. Please, I'll do anything you want me to, just to get one last chance with you. If you want me to stop talking to her, I will. I'll even stop talking to people who talk to her. I'll push her off the Empire State Building, if you want me to."

"Don't tempt me," Addison says. Then she sighs. "Mark…" she tries to start, but can't figure out what to say.

"Addie, I love you. Let me show you that," he asks of her, stepping towards her.

"Mark, no," she tells him, countering his forward movement with a backwards one of her own.

"I just want my wife back," he says, still advancing. "Do you remember how happy we used to be? We could be like that again. We could. We just have to try."

She feels the wall press into her back and realizes that she no longer has room to retreat. "Mark, no," she repeats, more firmly.

He presses his lips to hers, and Addison tenses up. This is not happening. "I love you," he says, breaking the kiss for a moment to tell her so. "So much."

When he tries to kiss her again, she turns her head so that he catches a mouthful of hair. The tactic works for a second, but then he just begins kissing her neck. "Mark," she says, hoping to reason with him. He's twice as strong as she is, reason is her only hope. "You don't love me. This isn't love. This is weird and perverted and not love." He looks up and she takes the opportunity to look him in the eyes, as much as it pains her. "If you love me half as much as you say you do, you'll let me go. You can go back to New York with Sophia, or without Sophia, however you want. Just leave me alone."

"I really screwed it up with you, didn't I?" he repeats his question from earlier. She nods. He allows her out of her confinement. "Go," he says quietly.

"Mark," she says. Even after everything, she does still kind of care about the man.

"Just go," he replies. "Get me the papers, I'll sign them. Me and Sophia will be gone as soon as possible."

"Mark," she repeats.

"Go, Addison," he tells her, more forcefully. "Be happy. Just… don't hate me forever, okay?"

"I don't hate you," she whispers. "I just don't love you anymore. Face it, Mark, we just weren't destined."

"I guess not," he says. "Go. Find your doctor. What was his name again?"

"Alex. Alex Karev," she answers, smiling merely at the mention of his name.

"Go find him. Tell him that you're free. Just… let me know when the wedding is, okay? I'm a sick, masochistic bastard for it, but I want to be there."

"Okay." She turns around just before she walks out the door. "Thank you, Mark."

"Yeah, no problem."

"I guess… I'll see you around. Or not."

"Goodbye Addison."

"Bye Mark."

She tries to find Alex directly after her encounter with Mark, but gets paged into surgery. The hospital keeps her busy until it's time for her to go home. By that time, she's practically forgotten what she wants to find him for, but after a minute's recollection, she remembers that they are finally free. She laughs and practically runs to find him, finally accomplishing the task when she checks the locker room. He barely has time to turn around when she flies into his arms. "I have the best news!" she tells him.

"Apparently," he laughs. "What?"

"I talked to Mark today," she says. His face darkens. "No, it's not like that. He's signing the papers, Alex! He's finally signing the papers!"

"What?!" he exclaims.

"We did it. I'm free."

"You did it, Adds. I had nothing to do with it. What made him change his mind?"

"He, um, he… we just talked," she tells him. No need to make him kill her soon to be ex-husband. Alex doesn't look convinced, but he drops it. As he looks at her, she suddenly realizes the implications of the day. No more Mark and Sophia bugging her, no more looking over her shoulder every time she's with Alex, no more of any of that. She's now free to be with him forever. Forever. Ugh, scary word, but not one she's completely opposed to. She kisses him softly. "You know, the other day, when I said I need you?"

"Yeah?"

She swallows. "I meant to say that I love you too."

His smile could probably power a small city for a week. "Yeah?"

She smiles back gently. "Yeah."

"Adds, I know that this is… the thing is… Marry me?"

Addison's mouth goes dry and her jaw drops. Not expecting that. At all. "I… Alex…"

His smile drops off his face. "That's okay. It was stupid. Too soon. I get it. Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Alex!" she yells over him. "That wasn't a no." He stops talking and looks at her. "That wasn't even a maybe. But just… let me get divorced first, okay?"

"So, that's…"

She draws a deep breath in. "Of course I will marry you, Alex Karev. But let's just make it an eventually, okay? I don't want to rush things with you. I'm not divorcing you because we rushed into this."

"I can live with that," he says, and draws her closer to kiss her. The world fades away as she kisses her sort-of fiancé, and the feeling is definitely one she can see happening far into the future.

* * *

**so, i hope Mark's not totally out of character for this story... but i didn't want to portray him as an annoying, jealous, scary guy the entire time; Mark has feelings too, you know! and i like to think that he acts human every once in awhile, for better or worse.**

**anyways, i'm thinking that this seems like a nice ending for the story so i'm thinking just an epilogue and then i'll be done. if you don't like this plan, you can review and tell me so!**

**-Juli-**


	13. The End and Other Big Things

**well, this is it. the final chapter. that's kind of sad, but i am rather happy with the way it turned out. although, i was just rereading everything and was realized: whatever happened to addison's rings? oh well, i suppose that you're just going to have to remain just in the dark as i am.**

**disclaimer: i still do not own Greys Anatomy, but now that denny is going away, i shall renew my efforts.**

Addison gazes at herself in the bathroom mirror, putting on make-up to get ready for a dinner party at Callie's house, as she calls out, "So Mark called today."

Alex appears in the doorway. "Oh? What did he want?" He's trying to sound nonchalant, but she knows him too well. He is definitely interested in this piece of news.

"Nothing really. He asked about you." She can see his mouth start to tighten as he struggles to appear just curious. "Take a chill pill," she tells him, "He just wanted to know when you were going to get up the nerves to propose to me."

"I already did."

"He means for real. You know, with a ring and everything? He says it's been almost a year."

"Don't you think it's weird that you tell your ex-husband almost everything? And it's been eight months."

"Hey, he may suck as a husband, but with a continent between us, he's actually a really good friend."

Alex sighs. "I know. I'm sorry. I just spent so much time trying to protect you from the guy and now he's bugging you about getting me to propose. It's weird."

"You think I don't know that? Because, believe me, the awkward silences that come up in our conversations definitely remind me."

"I'm sorry, Adds, I'm just still trying to get used to the idea."

"I know. I'm sorry for being so defensive."

"So he wanted to know when I was going to propose."

"Yes. With a ring and romantic setting, and champagne. I told him I don't need all that, and he told me to go to hell for making him spend all that money when he proposed."

"So you would just need what? A ring?"

She quickly becomes serious. She looks down before meeting his eyes. "And you," she says quietly.

"So me, and a ring. Like, maybe this one?" He pulls a velvet box out of his pocket. She gasps then laughs. He asks, "What?"

"Nothing. I just can't believe you're going to propose to me in the bathroom," she giggles. He glares at her, and grabs her wrist, and, regardless of the eye shadow she holds in her hand, pulls her out into the bedroom.

"Better?" he asks.

"Sure. But I've got eye shadow on one eye. Not exactly my idea of a pretty picture."

He rolls his eyes. "Go finish getting ready," he sighs.

She laughs. "No, sorry, I'm being difficult. Go ahead." She feigns seriousness, but can barely contain another giddy giggle.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

"Sorry, I'm trying. Really." She takes a breath and tries to rid herself of the need to start laughing. He waits patiently, until finally he gets frustrated.

"You know what? Just forget it. You need to finish getting ready, or we're going to be late to Callie's." He turns and starts to walk away, but Addison grabs his sleeve. She grabs the box and opens it. She smiles at the simple ring and, trying not to gasp at its beauty, takes it out and places it on her finger.

"You don't get out of this that easily, Alex Karev," she informs him. "Because I'm going to marry you if it's the last thing I do."

He smiles and she smiles back. He kisses her softly, but when she tries to deepen it, he breaks away. "Go get ready, we're already going to be late, and you know Callie's going to blame me."

"Fine," she sulks. "I'll be ready in five. But you owe me."

"I don't have a problem with that."

0ooo0

Callie sighs in frustration. "Addie, you have to choose a date. Without a date, we can't get like anything else figured out. So pick a date."

"I don't know!" Addison exclaims.

"Okay, seriously, this isn't that hard. Do you want a summer wedding or a winter one?"

"I don't know!"

"You know what? I'm just going to pick your wedding date for you, okay? December."

"No," Addison says. "Nowhere around the holidays."

"September then." Addison shakes her head no, and Callie rolls her eyes. "March?" Addison makes a face. "May?"

Addison's eyes light up. "That's it!"

"Okay. What date?"

"The seventeenth."

Callie looks skeptical. "That seems kind of arbitrary."

"Seventeen's my lucky number," Addison explains.

0ooo0

Addison stands nervously at the airport, waiting. She smiles when she sees Mark, but frowns when she sees who follows him. "Sophia, what the hell are you doing here?" she asks when they're within earshot.

"Addie," Mark warns.

"What, Mark? Don't take that tone of voice with me. I want to know what the hell she's doing here."

"You two were best friends for how many years?"

"Until she slept with you!"

"So you'll forgive him, but not me?" Sophia asks.

For the first time, Addison meets her eyes. "I knew it would happen with him. Not you. I can forgive him, but I can't forgive you."

"Just what are you saying, Addie?" Mark asks, looking offended.

She sighs. "How do I put this? I've always known that you weren't exactly faithful. You think I didn't know about what you really did on those "boys" weekends? Believe me, I knew. But I loved you. I just never thought… with my best friend. So I can forgive you, but I can't forgive her. I just can't."

"She misses you, Addie."

"I miss her too. But I can't forget."

"Addie, can I talk to you?" Sophia asks as she approaches. Addison rolls her eyes, but Mark nudges her in the woman's direction.

"Fine." They walk away from Mark and Sophia says.

"Look, I miss you. I know what I did was wrong, but I can't be sorry. I love him, Addie."

Addison shakes her head. "I can't listen to this."

"Wait, Addie. Just wait. Hear me out. I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry that you had to find out like that, but I'm not sorry for loving him. You get that don't you? I mean, after everything with Alex…"

"Don't you dare bring up Alex, because that was a completely different situation."

"Was it? Really?"

"Yes," Addison grits her teeth. "It was."

"Funny, because I'm failing to see the difference."

"You know what, Sophia? Come to the wedding with Mark. I don't care. Do whatever you want. I officially absolve you of all sins against me, but you have to promise to stay the hell away from me after the wedding. I don't want to see you again. Ever."

"Addie, I-"

"Don't, Sophia. I'll forgive, but I'm not forgetting, and I don't want you in my life anymore."

"Addison-"

"I'm sorry, Soph, but I just can't do this anymore."

0ooo0

"Alex?" Addison asks, a week after they return from their honeymoon.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, so don't get freaked out by this question, because it's not important. I mean, it is important, but not urgent in any way. It's just I was thinking about it and I thought that maybe, well, not any time soon, but just I was thinking about it, like I said, and-" she starts babbling nervously.

He smiles, as annoying as the trait might be sometimes, when he's in a good mood, he remembers that it's part of why he married her in the first place. It's kind of endearing. "Adds. Rambling," he says to snap her out of it.

"Right. It's just that I don't want you to get freaked out and…" she starts out on another round of nervous rambling, so he can tell that this question, whatever it is, must be important.

"Addison," he finally says. "Just ask the damn question."

She stops talking and looks down at her feet. Then she looks up to meet his eyes as she asks, "Do you want kids?"

He's shocked into silence, then starts laughing nervously. "Are you…?" he asks.

Her eyes widen. "Oh! No. No, I'm not. I was just… I was thinking, like I said, and I realized we never talked about it, and I was just curious. Because I do. One day, I mean. Not immediately. But I do. But only if you want to, of course. Because you're the only man I would ever consider having them with."

"I should hope so," he jokes. He quickly becomes serious when he sees her face shining hopefully. He thinks carefully before answering. "I do. Eventually, I mean. Not like tomorrow, or anything."

"No, of course not," she agrees. "But one day?"

"One day," she agrees with a smile.

"Now," he says, drawing her close. "I have no objection to events leading up to the little bundles of joy."

She slides her arms around her neck, and kisses him, smiling as she says, "Neither do I," against his lips.

**so there you are. the end. le fin. yeah. um. yeah. hope you enjoyed it. i should be back soon with another one.**

**-Juli-**


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